The next few days were a complete blur. I was on Betsy constantly. I prayed a lot. I prayed that my Grandma and Grandaddy, James, Papa, Granny Maddox, Mawie, and my dogs Chance, Maci and Molly would be with me and hold me up thru this. I could feel them with me. I could feel hands on me even when nobody was in the room. I would feel a hand on my shoulder, leg and my head. I would feel the pups curled up beside me. That got me thru those days.

After a couple of days I was put on the high flow (that I named Hank). J. (the liaison for the floor I was on) set up a Zoom call for me and Greg. First time we had seen each other since I left in the ambulance. It was so good to see him and hear his voice. We got to talk for about 30 minutes. It did us both good to be able to see and talk to each other. Having to go thru all I had without him there was so hard. He messaged me everyday and so did family and friends. Their encouragement meant so much and kept me uplifted.

I still felt really bad. I still wasn’t eating or drinking much and had absolutely no energy. Not sure what day it was but I was laying in bed and all of a sudden I had about 6 or 7 people come flying in the room and staring at me. They said are you OK? I said I think so, why? They said your leads showed you just flat lined. They checked me out and I was Ok. Not sure what happened there but later that day my O2 had dropped and they said I had a setback and needed to be put back on Betsy the BiPap. They got me a room in ICU and later that day I was moved. I was on the maximum that the BiPap could do. They wanted me in ICU in case I had to be intubated, I would already be there. That scared me. That was the last thing I wanted.

Since being admitted, I was worried about myself, but I was also worried about Greg. I felt better after the first couple days in the hospital when he told me our friend (who is a home health nurse) was helping him understand everything that was in the My Chart emails he got daily. What a blessing she was. I still worried about him worrying about me and knowing he was thinking the same things I was. What if I didn’t make it. How was he gonna handle that? One of the days before I went to ICU, he told me he was at peace with whatever the outcome was. He had finally let go and turned it all over to God. I was finally able to quit worrying about him and totally focus on me. That may sound mean, or selfish to some but I knew I had to spend all my energy focusing on me and doing what I had to do to get better. I knew God had this, but I also knew I had to do my part. I had said from the beginning God has a plan and I am rolling with it. And that is exactly what I did.

Thanks for taking the time to read my blog. Until next time…God Bless